Sweetheart, Are You Using Precise Words for Your Memoir?
Is writing precise words really important in a memoir?
Over the years, I have written energetically about the importance of writing precise words instead of generic ones.
I was dropping someone off at the bus station (aka the Intermodal Transportation Center) when I overheard an exchange that purported to be a dialog that convinced me once again of the necessity for precision in speech–and, by extension, in our memoir writing. It was proof that generic words really do miss the mark and lead to confusing messages.
A grandmother was seeing her daughter (I presumed from the similarity of looks) and three grandchildren off—or perhaps it was the other way. The grandmother had said goodbye to the two girls and there was a boy of about 10 whom she had not yet bid her fond farewell to. He was looking around the space, distracted by this and that and not paying much attention to what was going on.
“Sweetheart,” the grandmother said, holding her arms out to hug him. The boy continued to look around elsewhere.
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You Don’t Have to Rush To Complete a Memoir
Writers will sometimes tell me that they are blocked and can’t seem to get back into writing. I have a surprising answer for them: don’t write just now to complete a memoir. It’s ok to be stalled for a while.
Let me give you a little scene in which I came to the viability of this conclusion.
One summer when I was serious about gardening, I went away on a late June trip. It was a fun vacation with my family, but the trip fell at a time when the garden seriously needed daily weeding, hoeing, and watering. As you can imagine, when I returned home, I found my garden overrun with weeds. The vegetables that I had so carefully planted were just about choked out, so I was, to say the least, challenged seeing the overgrown mess of weeds.
Rather than tackle the job immediately, however, which would certainly have been reasonable, I made a counter-intuitive decision: I spent time across several days just sitting on the edge of the garden, envisioning how I wanted the various parts to look once my work of cleaning up was done, imagining the lovely vegetables I would have.
Action will come.
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What is Your Memoir’s “BIG WHY”
What is your memoir’s BIG WHY? Without a BIG WHY, your memoir will not shine. You story will be smaller than it needs to be.
As I interview prospective clients for coaching—something I do often, I listen to why their reasons to write a memoir. Many do not yet have a compelling reason to write their memoir, a pushy “why.” I strongly suspect they will not continue into coaching or editing—and may not finish their memoir at all.
What is your memoir’s BIG WHY?
Yes, there is something that has urged them to be in touch with me, but that presenting reason, I sense, is not yet gnawing at their consciousness, boring into them until they have to give in to it, causing non-writing to be more painful than writing. These people will “try to write” a memoir, but I sense they are not committed.
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Banish Fear of Revealing Too Much: Be a Bigger Presence in Your Memoir
The fear of revealing too much of ourselves in the memoir we are writing can be paralyzing.
We wonder: “What will people say? How will people react to what I am revealing?” So…
We hold back in our writing. We stop ourselves from personal revelation, from sharing secrets.
The fear is founded—it’s not always a friendly world out there. And, of course…
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12 Reasons People Quit Writing a Memoir
I have been asking myself what are the reasons people quit writing a memoir and how to help them persevere. I have drawn the following list from my experience with the people who have begun to work with me and then stopped writing.
The answers to why people quit are so varied! Here are some I have come up with as I have pondered the topic. Below is a list that contains both very valid reasons and some that I consider simply wimpy. If you find yourself harboring feelings that I bring up as triggers for quitting, I hope you will address them before they take hold of you.
Reasons people quit writing a memoir
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A Year in China with the SARS epidemic
Denis Ledoux: At The Memoir Network, we had the pleasure of working with Nelida Napuli Co as she polished her memoir, Vinegar and SARS, with one of our editors, Frances King, and focused on book production with Sally Lunt. Because of her insightful articulation of a unique experience—living in China during the SARS epidemic, I am delighted she agreed to do the following interview (conducted by email.)
Denis: Can you tell our readers—your fellow writers—what your book is about and why you were impelled to write it? What was driving you to spend the time, energy and money to get this book out into the world?
Nelida: My book is a compilation of stories I told families and friends that my late husband, Ting, and I had experienced during the years we lived in China. In particular, these stories are about the first year of teaching unexpectedly in a small rural town in Fujian province Southern China.
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Commit to finishing your memoir
Today, I am offering you a dynamite coaching session. If you read through this post and check the links, you will have an experience that will set you up for success—when you commit to finishing your memoir.
Ahead of you is a week available to make progress on your memoir. By next week at this time, will you have written an encouraging number of pages on your memoir or…
Will you be regretting the week, saying, “Well, you know how it is…life got in the way! Ha ha!”
The choice of results is yours to make.
How are you going to use the coming week? Will you “try” to use it well – and find on Friday that you have let so much get in the way that you wrote very little in a week’s time? Or…
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Your Memoir: Write with Your Audience in Mind
This video is about niche writing and how to write with your audience in mind.
Many writers of memoir do not write keep their audience in mind.
It is perhaps inevitable that writers indulge time in a certain fantasy that their book will appeal to a large audience and be popular. Unless you are already famous—like Michelle Obama or Harry Windsor—or writing about an experience that was in itself very well known—a major flood or a nuclear disaster, for instance, your book is not likely to interest a large audience that would propel it into a best seller status.
Look for your Niche: Write with Your Audience in Mind
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Writing Hooks to Open a Paragraph or Chapter
“How do I start a chapter so that it has writing hooks that capture the reader’s interest?” you ask.
In this post, I give you three surefire ways to open a chapter or even the whole of your memoir. You’ll use one of these writing hooks time after time.
These three methods involve creating curiosity in your reader. This curiosity via writing hooks is easy for you to ignite so that your reader will want to read your story.
The first of the writing hooks
The first technique is to start with a conversation, but you must start with the second half of that conversation and not the first part.
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