[Denis Ledoux]

Dear B.,
Congratulations on sticking with your memoir until chapter 20. If that is your end point—all you write, you will already have achieved more than most people.

Your questions are very hard—and very personal. They cannot be answered once and for all. You will find yourself formulating and reformulating—which of course is what you are dong in writing to this forum.

It sounds like you are at the point of needing readers. Not people who love you and want to support you but people who can give you critical feedback on your text. You have done the isolated work of writing and now require to enter the community phase. Publication is, of course, part of the community phase but it is at the end—and something you are clearly not ready for. Earlier than that is to read /share your text with a small group of thoughtful people. Without this community, you may never have a realistic assessment of your work. Do you have access to such people? Perhaps a reader of this forum will step forward to provide you with a critique. (I can create a connection between the two of you.) You can also hire a service such as we provide.

One way to frame your query is to ask whether your story is merely confessional and of great (therapeutic) value only to the writer or whether it is mythic and of great value both to the writer and the reader. Again, the answer will not be available to you without the feedback of a readership.

What you face is an issue that very few memoir writers will not have to face. It is a universal question/dilemma.

Good luck. Please write again to share where you are going with this.

[Denis Ledoux]

Dear Sherrey,

Thank you for you honesty and generosity in sharing your story.

I am sorry to read of the verbal and emotional abuse of your childhood. The child is so vulnerable and precious. It is more than sad that adults have to act out their deficiencies and pain and dump them on innocent children.

Abuse is often accompanied by silence. “Don’t tell. Anyway, if you do tell, they won’t believe you” is another mantra that follows childhood abuse. So, writing about your experience is a hero’s journey. I believe it augurs the end.

I wish you full expression of you pain so you can leave it behind once and for all.

[Author]

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