You can always tell the story in the “official” version, but you will be at odds to tell the story well. When you distort your insights in order not to contradict other people’s take on your story, your readers will sense that something is wrong.

We all have family stories that we have heard over and over again. When they are told in family gatherings, no one expects any contradiction. After all, the stories are the “truth” about someone in the family but “making nice”—not telling the truth in memoir—will trip you up.

How do you write truth in memoir writing?

There’s no problem when you are in agreement with the story line and the interpretation, but what do you do when you are not? Especially what do you do when you are isolated from others in your family in the way you interpret the story?

You can always tell the story in the “official” version, but you will be at odds to tell the story well. When you distort your insights in order not to contradict other people’s take on your story, your readers will sense that something is wrong. What’s more they may tend to dismiss what you write. They will sense that your interpretation is not the product of insight but an instance of some family whitewashing.

For instance, if you are driven (by your loyalty to a family theme) to depict a character—let’s say your Aunt Phyllis—as always fighting for good and justice, a true heroine, but in your heart you experience her as overbearing and rigid, your readers will intuit this conflict. Distorting your point of view to support a version you do not hold will lead to inexplicable warps in your story. Even if they can’t put their finger on it, your readers will pick up that there is something wrong in the writing. At best, they will quickly keep what you say at a distance. At worst, they will distrust your writing both here and elsewhere (and possibly everywhere).

Not to Tell the Truth in Memoir Writing Can Makes Things Worse

Besides, not telling the truth as you see it has a way of digging you into a hole. Like a “white” lie, it gets bigger and bigger until you can hardly handle it.

So tell your version of the truth. You and your readers will be glad you did.

Good luck in writing your memoir.

Let this be the year you write and complete your memoir.

1. Inch by inch, it’s a cinch, and
2. You don’t have to do it alone. There are many supports and resources available to you.

In conclusion

If you would like to add printed material to your memoir writing collection, visit our bookstore or Smashwords. The ebook The Nice-Nice Club Holds Its Last Meeting is available free on either site.

Also check out this YouTube video Write More Deeply which covers much of the same topic—but differently. And when you do, please leave a comment on Youtube if you have anything to share.