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You want to write your memoir, but you resist getting too personal, going in too deep. In short, writing a more personal memoir.

Your guarded secret that you wanted to have your own business one day or your hope that your father would apologize eventually for his denigration of you—this has happened and it has had a great impact on you. Your even deeper secrets—the sexual orientation that you dared not reveal or your negative self-concept—surely this can’t be the subject of a memoir. How would you live this down? Isn’t it better to stick with the facts and dates? And aren’t these inner realities too personal to impose on others?

1) The more personal your memoir the more universal it is.

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Are You Holding Back the Hard Truth in Your Memoir?

Your memoir needs the hard truth about life—your life—and sometimes that requires exposing yourself, getting “naked.”

I believe one has to stop holding back for fear of alienating some imaginary reader or real relative or friend and come out with personal truth. If we are to understand the human condition and if we are to accept ourselves in all the complexity, self-doubt…. we have to know all we can about each other and we have to be willing to go naked.

—May Sarton

Wow, going around naked! Gulp! (Better hit the gym!)

But, I guess you get the idea—psychologically and emotionally naked. Your memoir needs truth telling about life—yours—and sometimes that requires exposing yourself, getting “naked.”

I would like to change the metaphor a bit, to use a metaphor that is less startling but very graphic nonetheless. It is the metaphor of the kernels at the bottom of the popcorn bowl.

I love popcorn and enjoy eating it but there always comes a moment when I get to the bottom of the bowl and the plethora of corn kernels that have been popped into delightful puffy bites gives way to the hard half-popped or not-popped-at-all kernels. These are not fun to eat. Disappointed, I walk to the trash and throw the kernels away. (more…)

Writing a memoir can be a pretty arduous task — dredging up old memories, mining complex emotions, and trying to frame your experiences in a way that will engage and provide value to readers. It’s no wonder that most authors, having finished their memoirs, feel like the hard part is over and they can finally relax. But, no, it’s time to market your memoir!

But if you’re planning to self-publish your memoir on Amazon, don’t get complacent just yet. While traditionally publishing memoirists often have their marketing plans laid out for them, those on the self-publishing track need to put in a little more personal effort. And while there are tons of great resources to help you along, it’s also important to know how to market on Amazon specifically, as it’s by far the largest retailer in the biz. (more…)

Perhaps you’ve been writing a memoir for your family and friends. The composition started off easily enough. You jotted a few memories and passed the stories out. People started saying you ought to write a book, but you were doubtful no one else but family and friends would be interested. For a long while you were satisfied creating your book for a small audience and then it occurred to you you that you were writing with a theme that might interest a larger audience. Perhaps, you wondered, if there was something in your lifestory that could address a larger audience of strangers. Or…

Perhaps from the get-go, you had a sense that, while this story of yours is personal, there was something in it that certainly could interest a larger audience.

While family and friends are always a worthy readership for your memoir, it is possible to reach an even larger audience.

“But, how to do that?” you ask. “What’s the magic bullet?”

Well, I don’t have a magic bullet but I do have a few suggestions to help you reach beyond a small circle. Below are four suggestions to empower your story to appeal to a broader public. (more…)

Writers sometimes struggle with how to begin a story and will not write the story until they have the beginning—the first paragraph.

This is not a good way to proceed.

The first paragraph of a memoir sets the tone.

The first paragraph creates the tone and often presents imagery that will shape the reader’s appreciation of your story—whether a vignette or a full memoir.

In a short story I wrote many years ago, I did not compose the first paragraph until I had written the whole story. Frankly, I was stumped and did not know how to begin the story, how to launch the  reader.

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Note: Cindy Doucette’s daughter, Candice, was sure she could defy the odds and survive as she continued her drug addiction. This excerpt from Chapter 3 of Cindy’s memoir is a mother’s lament:

The shock I had first experienced at hearing of Candice’s death had given way to overwhelming sadness. I had lost my daughter, my daughter in whom I had placed so many hopes when she was a baby and a little girl. Then with time, that sadness gave way to anger. How could Candice have chosen to ignore all the good advice we had given her? Why didn’t she pay attention to the countless articles about the risks of drug addiction I had passed on to her to read? And how could she not learn from the death of her friend, Joey? I was angry, too, that she had thrown away the long life she might have had, thrown away her chance to become the singer she had said she wanted to become or the chance to use her drawing skills to become a graphic artist or a fashion designer. Her entire future had been thrown away—all for a few minutes of feeling high.

All of this was a waste because of senseless, stupid drug addiction.

How could he have missed her drug addiction?

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Editor: The following is an excerpt from Walter Linder’s labor union memoir, A Life of Labor and Love / A Red Memoir.

When I reached my early twenties, I was convinced I was too shy to ever get married. Although I had gone out on dates with various women, nothing had clicked. At 24, I began seeing a young woman named Charlotte. We went out for about a year but I sensed something was not quite right. I wasn’t meeting my wife!

“Wally, I could never marry someone who doesn’t dance,” she said — leading my sister June to advise that such superficiality was not for me.

“Forget her.” (Good advice. As it turned out, the three women with whom I was to spend the next six decades of my life — Esther, Toni and Vera — were all terrific dancers.)

During that year, Gladys, a comrade from my CP railroad section asked me if I had a girlfriend.

“Yes,” I replied, but “it doesn’t seem to be going anyplace.”

“Well,” said Gladys, “if you break it off with her, I’ve got the girl for you.”

“A blind date?” I said.

“Why not?” she answered. (more…)

How much does hiring a ghostwriter cost?

If you are hiring a ghostwriter, of course, one of the facets you are concerned with is how much it will cost to have your memoir written. Your concern is appropriate.

What if you had a few useful guidelines to help you determine if the costs you are being asked to pay are in line with current rates? Well, you do below…

1. Above all, do not bring a nickel and dime attitude to the process of having your memoir written.

The process is not a mechanical one in which you can expect so many words for so many dollars. Your ghostwriter will be thinking of your memoir in the shower and while doing the dishes and perhaps when out to dinner. Being a creative person, your ghost is not likely to shut off inspiration and insight. S/he might, in the most unexpected moment, realize, “Oh, this character trait seems to have led to that result and perhaps it was not that other reason my client was alluding to that was the cause. I need to talk to my client about this.”

Your ghost’s willingness to dwell with your memoir beyond the writing time will improve your memoir, and it is not likely that your ghost will charge you for the moment of insight in the shower. (more…)

Choosing the Right Memoir Writing Coach

How do you choose the best memoir writing coach for you and your book? Your relationship with your memoir writing coach is likely to be a long one. There is no other way to make it effective. Coaching is like counseling in a way.  Counseling requires an introductory, getting-to-know-you phase before both of you can move on to a productive phase. You can’t expect a counselor to help you with your core issues until the two of you have had some exploratory conversations and the counselor has gotten some bearing on your “stuff.” In a similar way, a writing coach has to get to know you before s/he can help you with your core writing issues.

A coach works with you in several areas including:

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personal memoir

Seven Reasons for Writing a More Personal Memoir

By

You want to write your memoir, but you resist getting too personal, going in too deep. In short, writing a more personal memoir. Your guarded secret that you wanted to have your own business one day or your hope that your father would apologize eventually for his denigration of you—this has happened and it has […]

how to market your memoir

How to Market Your Memoir Through KDP Select

By

Writing a memoir can be a pretty arduous task — dredging up old memories, mining complex emotions, and trying to frame your experiences in a way that will engage and provide value to readers. It’s no wonder that most authors, having finished their memoirs, feel like the hard part is over and they can finally […]

Labor Union Memoir

From A Blind Date to A Matchless Marriage

By

Editor: The following is an excerpt from Walter Linder’s labor union memoir, A Life of Labor and Love / A Red Memoir. When I reached my early twenties, I was convinced I was too shy to ever get married. Although I had gone out on dates with various women, nothing had clicked. At 24, I […]

hiring a ghostwriter

Why You Should Not Nickel and Dime When Hiring a Ghostwriter

By

If you are hiring a ghostwriter, of course, you are concerned with how much it will cost to have your memoir written. Here are some guidelines… What if you had a few useful guidelines to help you determine if the costs you are being asked to pay are in line with current rates? Well, you […]

best memoir writing coach

The Best Memoir Writing Coach: How to Choose the Right One

By

Your relationship to your memoir-writing coach is likely to be a long one. There is no other way to make it effective. Coaching is like counseling in a way. Counseling requires an introductory, getting-to-know-you phase before both of you can move on to a productive phase. You can’t expect a counselor to help you with […]