Member Menu

Navigation

The following story is written by Edwina Carr-Jangarathis a memoir professional who has done considerable writing. We had the pleasure of publishing her book In Their Own Words. We hope you benefit from reading Listening to Grief: The Boys Laugh Again.

TIMKYLEEyes squeezed tightly shut, I listen for the laughter of my two grandsons as I drift on my rubber raft. I’m certain if I’m silent and try hard enough I’ll hear the laughter of the boys again. Glimpses of summer days when we laughed together flash through my mind. One day, we linked our three rafts so they bumped over the small ocean waves one after the other. Not as content as I was to sit and ride, Kyle dove down under the blue surface that seemed so deep to me, fearful as I am. Where is he? I began to worry. Then, I felt something tugging at my feet and I saw him reappeared near the edge of my rubber raft. It shook fearfully and threatened to tip. Tim came to help him “torture” me. Seeing my reaction, they laughed and pulled all the more at my raft. Splashing them in self-defense, I laughed and shouted “You can’t treat your grandmother this way.” They splashed back, giggling and kicking their feet behind them. (more…)

Writers seem to grasp that every memoir needs well-developed characters and actions, but the same is always not true when they are asked to develop the setting of their memoir.

Develop the Setting

The term “setting” is generally understood to refer to the physical “where” in which your memoir takes place. This can be a city or a rural neighborhood, a state or province, a country. This sense of setting includes a house and a room and a street. If your pen were a movie camera, the setting would be what your camera would eventually project onto the screen.

In this first sense, setting is a physical and tangible element. Even when the physical setting no longer exists, your obligation as a memoirist is to reproduce it in your pages as if it were still there. The reader feels as if s/he were in the midst of the world that once was.

The memoir setting includes both where and when your story occurs.

(more…)

I enjoy many forms of physical exercise, from climbing mountains, to backpacking along trails, to bicycling, and even swimming. But mostly nowadays I just go hiking, sometimes with my grandchildren and partner, but often alone. Working the muscles of my body is good for me and helps keep my joints working. I feel better after a long walk. Can the same be said of mining memoir depths?

Well, my mental muscles do feel better after a good writing workout. I’ve been writing diaries since I was very young, and I keep boxes of them wherever I’m living at the moment. I draw on them a great deal in my memoir writing. They offer a panoramic view of my life.

I’ve been scribbling “Morning Pages” ever since Julia Cameron’s Sound of Paper came out. Every day along with my morning writing I include entries in my gratitude journal as well as ideas for my recovery blog. (more…)

Basic units of memoir writing

Vignettes, scenes, and dialogs are at the core of any memoir. Here are some ideas for writing them more quickly and elegantly.

1. Don’t worry about order.

Don’t stop to figure out how these snippets—vignettes, scenes, and dialogs—may eventually fit together into a story.

These bits and pieces will accumulate as you recall more and more and continue to write them down. Giving yourself permission to write in small, separate segments (vignettes, scenes, and dialogs, etc.) is a great way to start writing. Because there will always be your memory list of things to write about, you will never experience “writer’s block!” Fitting these pieces together to craft a polished story will come later, in the rewriting stage. Right now, it’s important to get text—any text—down on paper. (more…)

When writing the story of my life, I didn’t let anyone else hold the pen For the past eight months, I have been writing my lifestory. As a professional personal historian, I believe in practicing what I preach to those in my lifestory writing workshops. I have even gone as far as hiring an editor to help me. There is nothing quite like being accountable to another person. I firmly believe that everyone has a story worth telling. I’d like to share with you my motivation and exactly why I decided to get busy preserving my own story.

A valuable resource to remember the past more accurately when writing the story of my life

I possess 523 personal and heartfelt letters that were written over a span of thirty-nine years – precious letters written between my grandmother and myself. My dear grandmother was more like my mother and our relationship was a very close one. As I thought more about writing my lifestory, I wondered “how can I use these insightful letters to help me tell my story.” It seemed to me as if each one of these 523 letters were calling out to me. (Writing the story of my life, I found these proved invaluable.) A great many of the letters were written during the time I lived overseas with my husband, an Information Officer working for the Central Intelligence Agency. Together, we lived in six foreign countries from 1976 through 1992 making eighteen moves during that time. (more…)

I live in the area (Lewiston, Maine) where my great-grandparents, my grandparents and parents—and now me—spent their lives, and I am also an amateur historian of this region. When I was asked to speak at a library lunchtime program several years ago about history and memoir writing, I chose as my topic : “Lewiston’s Buildings Tell Our Stories.” The following is a brief overview of what I shared with my audience—which now includes become you!

Exploring History and Memoir Writing

This was an industrial city in the 19th century with a Protestant Anglo-American ruling/mill ownership class and an underclass of Catholic Franco-Canadian-American and Irish-American mill workers. I asked the library audience if they had noticed how the older funeral homes in town were in large, distinguished houses. Of course, they had, but most people had not asked themselves what was the history of these homes was. What did homes of such stature on the edges of the tenement district imply/signify? (more…)

Recently, someone asked me what are the biggest barriers memoir writers face to being successful. Three tips that will keep you writing came to mind right away. Below, I write about them and offer suggestions for eliminating these barriers.

1. Writers often put off writing a good memoir in favor of struggling unsuccessfully to create a perfect one. This is insidious because no one says they are putting off writing a good memoir in favor of a perfect one. Instead they say, “I want my story to be meaningful” or “I want to be sure I have something to say” or “I don’t want to bore my readers.”

No one wants a boring memoir or a meaningless one. Most writers I’ve worked with do have it in them to turn out a memoir that can appeal to its audience. It may not be a perfect memoir but it can be a good one. Keep in mind that perfect is the enemy of good. (more…)

If dialog is an essential part of every memoir—and of course it is, then why not make it effective—make it say what needs to be said—and interesting—so that it also keeps the reader reading. Write better dialog.

Dialog performs several functions that make your story appealing and meaningful.

Every memoir ought to have some dialog so why not write better dialog.

I am going to start off with offering you some reasons for including dialog in your memoir—to shore up my insisting every memoir ought to include dialog.

Reason #1. Dialog allows the reader to hear the character speak for himself or herself.

For instance, if your character was a person who was frequently on the defense about his behavior, you could quote him saying:”

  • “I know it didn’t look good,” my uncle Victor replied in his timid voice, “but it wasn’t me who did it.”

Reason #2. Dialog is an opportunity to use regionalisms and particularities of speech that distinguish your characters and portray them to your readers.

(more…)
In this video, Work With or Through Pain: Writing Painful Memories, I talk about writing through painful memories. Pain is often a barrier to memoir writing. Who wants to revisit difficult times? Although delving into the past is a generally pleasant experience and promotes healing and growth, it can also be painful. In fact, sooner or later, pain seems to come with memoir writing. This pain if not handled well, can inhibit—and even stop—you from continuing with your writing. Sometimes painful memories (poverty, childhood humiliation, abuse, abandonment, addiction, etc.) you had “forgotten” will resurface. Or, you may be unwilling to (more…)
listening to grief

Listening to Grief: The Boys Laugh Again

By

Eyes squeezed tightly shut, I listen for the laughter of my two grandsons as I drift on my rubber raft. I’m certain if I’m silent and try hard enough I’ll hear the laughter of the boys again. Glimpses of summer days when we laughed together flash through my mind. One day, we linked our three […]

develop the setting

Develop the Setting: the Somewhere of Your Story

By

Writers seem to grasp that every memoir needs well-developed characters and actions, but the same is always not true when they are asked to develop the setting of their memoir. Develop the Setting The term “setting” is generally understood to refer to the physical “where” in which your memoir takes place. This can be a […]

mining memoir depths

Mining Memoir Depths: Spelunking of the Mind

By

I enjoy many forms of physical exercise, from climbing mountains, to backpacking along trails, to bicycling, and even swimming. But mostly nowadays I just go hiking, sometimes with my grandchildren and partner, but often alone. Working the muscles of my body is good for me and helps keep my joints working. I feel better after […]

Writing the Story of My Life

Holding the Pen—Writing the Story of My Life

By

When writing the story of my life, I didn’t let anyone else hold the pen For the past eight months, I have been writing my lifestory. As a professional personal historian, I believe in practicing what I preach to those in my lifestory writing workshops. I have even gone as far as hiring an editor […]

history and memoir writing

History And Memoir Writing

By

I live in the area (Lewiston, Maine) where my great-grandparents, my grandparents and parents–and now me–spent their lives, and I am also an amateur historian of this region. When I was asked to speak at a library lunchtime program several years ago, I chose a topic similar to Linda Myers’ topic: Lewiston’s Buildings Tell Our […]

Keep writing on your memoir

Three Tips That Will Keep You Writing

By

Recently, someone asked me what are the biggest barriers memoir writers face to being successful. Three tips that will keep you writing came to mind right away. Below, I write about them and offer suggestions for eliminating these barriers. 1. Writers often put off writing a good memoir in favor of struggling unsuccessfully to create […]

better dialog

10 Tips to Write Better Dialog—Make it More Effective and Interesting

By

If dialog is an essential part of every memoir—and of course it is, then why not make it effective—make it say what needs to be said—and interesting—so that it also keeps the reader reading. Write better dialog. Dialog performs several functions that make your story appealing and meaningful. Every memoir ought to have some dialog […]

work with and through pain

Work With or Through Pain: Writing Painful Memories

By

In this video, Work With or Through Pain: Writing Through Painful Memories, I talk about writing through painful memories. Pain is often a barrier to memoir writing. Who wants to revisit difficult times? Although delving into the past is a generally pleasant experience and promotes healing and growth, it can also be painful. (more…)