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You start with a burst of writing motivation. You are super energized! You have the best motivation for writing—ever! “By gosh, this memoir is going to get written and it’s going to be good!” you tell yourself. And the writing flows for the first while. Your energy remains high. You write regularly and you think about how to make your memoir better and better. At last, you feel like you are a “real writer!” Then, you stall. A day—or two or three—goes by without any writing. Then that “not writing” repeats itself the next week. “But that’s ok,” you tell (more…)

Stories fascinate us all our lives. As children, we loved to be told fairy tales and to hear, time after time, the tales our parents told us about what we did and said when we were babies, as well as the stories about their own childhoods. As soon as we were old enough, we told stories about ourselves for our parents and for our friends.

As adults, we speak in stories at work, at family get-togethers, at class reunions, at town meetings, at the post office when we meet our neighbors. In fact, stories are such an important medium for us that even the numerous stories we tell and hear daily are not enough to satisfy our enormous appetites—we consume additional stories by reading novels, seeing movies, and watching dramas on television.

Stories Are About Meaning

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Don’t worry. Creating full, vivid characters does not call for skills beyond those you can develop. The term “stick character” refers to a drawing of a person by someone with no talent who draws lines for body, arms and legs. Stick characters don’t pull your readers in much and they don’t do justice to the people—real in your memoir or fictionalized in your novel—you are writing about. Stick characters compromise your writing. They are often clichés. An Example of Stick Characterization Whether in a memoir, novel, short story or essay, I am always disappointed by writers who say things like: (more…)
In this post, I’m not only going to show you why memoir dialog is important—of course, you know that—but I’m going to lay out some best writing practices to generate memorable and meaningful dialog. You’ll review—or perhaps that’s “learn”— great tips to write better memoir dialog well so keep reading until the end. I’ve got 7 proven pillars for you to make sure are in your writing toolbox. While dialog is an interesting and essential part of an effective memoir, do you really know how much to include and when? Or does your writing slip into conversational blah-blah-blah? Ouch! After (more…)
One of the writing process steps is to linger with your story. Many, and perhaps most, people write too fast. I don’t mean that they end up with a text characterized by sloppy grammar, spelling problems and chronology issues—although that may be the case, of course. No, what I mean is that they push through the process of writing their stories much too quickly. They end up with only a part of the story they could have written had they lingered.—and usually not the best part. So many times in my workshops and in my coaching experience, I have found it easy (more…)
I’m about to tell you something contrary to so much advice you’ve received: don’t give yourself permission to write a first memoir draft that is of poor quality and less than what you want. In this post, I will elaborate on four pillars that will enable you—eventually, of course—to write better than so many writing teachers have encouraged you to do. You will learn to produce at a higher level—that is, at a more polished level—so that 60% to 80% of your first draft will make its way into your final draft. (That’s what I always aim for, and you (more…)
Your theme is the soul of your story, the element that elevates it from a recitation of facts to a statement. Don’t take your theme lightly. Understanding “theme” and its role in your memoir is a core task that will both simplify and clarify your message—i.e., your theme. It calls for your full attention. Your theme is perhaps what has motivated you to start your memoir project. There is likely something you want to say about life—your life. Your theme is also called your message. The theme can be lofty (striving for virtue will bring rewards) or it can be (more…)
How to structure your memoir is today’s Monday Focus topic. Read on to learn how. Your story may begin as a formless collection of vignettes and stories. You may be writing as memories come to you. That is not a bad way to start to write. Spontaneity taps into the unconscious. But, your stories must not remain without an organizing principle. When you structure your memoir, you give it the backbone your readers want and need! Your memoir calls for structure to make as forceful a statement as it can make. Eventually, after you have written awhile, you will likely (more…)
Today is Monday, and it’s a great day to write a bit on your memoir! This must-do memoir-writing task asks: how much do you really know and do you have to tell everything you know? That is the challenge of writing the truth. Memory is often false, flattering, and failing. This makes telling the truth harder than it might have seemed firsthand. ~ You may never have known the truth. From the get-go, you may have been guessing. Guessing is sometimes necessary and has its rightful place in memoir writing but guess as little as possible and as a last (more…)
why we write stories

Why we write stories

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Why we write stories. Stories fascinate us all our lives. What is the meaning of telling (and listening to) all of these stories? Obviously, stories entertain us, but our need to be entertained doesn’t fully explain our great hunger for stories. (more…)

writing process steps

Writing Process Steps—Linger With Your Story

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Many, and perhaps most, people write too fast. I don’t mean that they end up with a text characterized by sloppy grammar, spelling problems and chronology issues. No, what I mean is that they push through the process of writing their stories much too quickly. They end up with only a part of the story […]