How to pick up and finish your memoir at last
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Finishing a Memoir—How Do People Get Snagged?
Many people who seek us out at The Memoir Network are not beginners at memoir writing. Many have already composed 5, 10, 15 or more stories or vignettes. They have been working on their memoir for a significant length of time but they are spinning their wheels. They are not moving forward and seem to […]
3 Tips to Help You Write Today and Everyday
All of us struggle to some extent to produce writing content. Writing is often difficult. It takes time and energy—both of which the laws of entropy suggest we ought to preserve. Here are a few writing processes to help you write today and every day. While the following are not exactly self-motivation, they have gotten […]
Is Writing a Memoir Important?
Let’s start with a basic question: is writing a memoir important?
Okay, why do we tell so many stories? Stories fascinate us all our lives. As children, we loved to be told fairy tales and to hear, time after time, the tales our parents told us about what we did and said when we were babies, as well as the stories about their own childhoods. As soon as we were old enough, we told stories about ourselves for our parents and for our friends. [Free Membership required to read more. See below. ]
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Three Reasons Why We Tell Stories
Why we tell stories
There are many reasons why we tell stories. Stories fascinate us all our lives. As children, we loved to be told fairy tales and to hear, time after time, the tales our parents told us about what we did and said when we were babies, as well as the stories about their own childhoods. As soon as we were old enough, we told stories about ourselves for our parents and for our friends.
As adults, we speak in stories at work, at family get-togethers, at class reunions, at town meetings, at the post office when we meet our neighbors. In fact, stories are such an important medium for us that even the numerous stories we tell and hear daily are not enough to satisfy our enormous appetites–we consume additional stories by reading novels, seeing movies, and watching dramas on television. [Free Membership required to read more. See below. ]
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Three Excuses for not Writing Your Memoir Today
Excuses for not writing
Most of us use a certain number of excuses for not writing when we want to avoid our memoir projects. In this post, I debunk a few that seem to be everyone’s favorites.
1. I don’t feel like writing my memoir today.
Does the plumber always feel like laying out a new bathroom? Or, is the parent always feeling like getting up in the middle of the night to see what the child needs?
There are many things we do in our lives because they are the natural consequences of a decision we have previously taken. Why should writing an autobiography be different? Why should you write your story only when you feel like it? A better solution would be to write according to a schedule. At eight, the plumber goes to work at plumbing. At your scheduled time, you get to work at your life story writing. Why should that be so hard to accept?
You don’t feel like writing today? Write. You feel like writing? Write. Fidelity today to your commitment is the best response to get your memoir written.
2. I am not well today.
Unless you are sick enough to stay in bed or are suffering from an acute pain such as a tooth ache, you would do well to apply the same thinking as in #1 rather than give in to this second of the excuses for not writing One can do much memoir writing even when one is “under the weather.”
Your child is crying and you don’t feel well? You get up and take care of your child. If your writing is important to you, you get on with the writing. You don’t feel well today? Write. You feel well? Write.
3. I don’t have anything to say.
This third of the excuses for not writing is like “I don’t know what to say” but worse! You are not writing essays, not philosophy. You are creating portraits of a world that is no more. You are celebrating the past. Don’t worry about having something to say. That’s “telling” and not “showing.” Just create portraits and scenes that show where you have been. That is already enough. Life story writing is not about thinking. Don’t worry about having something to say. Just show your past! You don’t feel you have anything to say today? Write. You feel you have something to say? Write.
Excuses, Excuses
See through the excuses for not writing that will jeopardize your success at writing your memoir. We are all too prone to making excuses. Writing autobiography ought to be a pleasure. Rather than indulge in discomfort-producing excuse talk, wouldn’t you really be better off to either write or retire all the feel-good-but-do-nothing talk about writing? Get the support of a writing buddy to help you through these excuses or try coaching.
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A Key to Memoir Writing Success
Do you ever wish you had the key to memoir writing success? Let me offer you one key that, I believe, every writer needs to make use of. Memoir writing success is built on daily habits. As has been bandied about and attributed to many different speakers, it is said that “you go to the […]
Showing up for writing—regularly
In the first days of creating a manuscript when we writers sit down to write—or rededicate ourselves to writing—it is often a struggle to find the energy to show up for the task. So many things seems to compete for our attention. We ask ourselves about “the point of all of this” and “who will read this book anyway” and “will people find this memoir a bit lightweight.” But showing up—regardless of what negative thoughts go through your head—is important because that is how a habit is formed. The first ten or so weeks of writing are when you will grow the habit of writing. You will begin to need to write, to find sustenance from writing. That sustenance will keep you writing.
People have said to me, “The first months were the hardest. After a while, the writing was something I did out of habit. I didn’t necessarily like it but I showed up whenever I said I would. The after a while something happened. I didn’t feel good if I didn’t write regularly. I just didn’t feel as if I were all right. My writing seemed less of an effort, and I even thought it was better. My stories were adding up, and it made me happy to see how much I was accomplishing.”
Underpromise and overdeliver
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Three Tips For Creating an Effective Writing Schedule
It’s time to commit to creating an effective writing schedule.
You’ve already taken several steps in lifewriting. You have begun to write your stories and memories. Perhaps the summer got in the way of your perseverance or perhaps it was something else—an illness, a temporary job, travel. Now you need to recommit to memoir writing by creating an effective writing schedule for yourself.
Rather than think in the general terms of “I’ll write as much as I can” (who are we kidding here!), base your writing schedule on a specific time or a page quota.
1) Decide how much time per week you want (or have) to devote to writing schedule.
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