Top Menu

telling the truth

Solving Problems of Telling the Truth in Your Memoir

We'd love to have you access this content. It's in our members-only area, but you're in luck: becoming a member is easy and it's free.

Already a Member?

Not a Member Yet?

Telling the truth is not always easy. How much of what happened do you have to tell in order to tell the truth? At what point does withholding the truth become a lie? For instance, in all her famous diaries, as Anais Nin celebrated the freedoms of her life as an artist, she never once […]

When telling the truth, how much of what happened do you have to tell? At what point does withholding the truth become a lie? For instance, in all her famous diaries, as Anais Nin celebrated the freedoms of her life as an artist, she never once mentioned that she was bankrolled by a husband. True, she could not mention his name or details of his life because he had refused her legal permission to do so in print. But wouldn’t the truth have been better served if she had mentioned the working husband who paid her bills and made her artistic life free of financial constraints possible?

Telling the truth is not easy

In that sense, her diaries have always seemed to me to contain a fundamental lie and avoided telling the truth. Nin clearly wanted her readers to believe that she lived independently as a woman and a writer. The fact of her husband’s support makes it evident that the self-sufficient persona she projected was wishful thinking. How much truth to tell is always a subjective decision that can be made only in the context of the writer’s life and family. The following are considerations to keep in mind as you decide how to solve telling the truth.

[Free Membership required to read more. See below. ]

The Memoir Network blog reposting” width=And now this one thing…

This post is one of over 500 informative, well-written articles we have made available to you on this site.

We’ve contributed to your writing success; now we ask you to contribute to the expansion of the memoir conversation.

By reposting this article on your blog or website or reposting on your favorite social media, you will inform your fellow memoir writers of the programs and services—many for free like the blogs—that are available at TheMemoirNetwork.com.

Thanks for your generosity. You rock.


We'd love to have you access this content. It's in our members-only area, but you're in luck: becoming a member is easy and it's free.

Already a Member?

Not a Member Yet?

2 Responses to Solving Problems of Telling the Truth in Your Memoir

  1. wondering04 June 9, 2014 at 5:15 PM #

    Revenge and lies are never the best way to tell one’s story. One thing I’ve noticed is that my narrative changes over time. The memoir (rough draft) I wrote 25 years ago was raw pain, not well developed. As I grew and changed over time, the raw pain transformed. I saw lessons in the past and new ways of looking at the old situation. I suspect any author writing a memoir years later might come do different conclusions with the same details.

    Best example is that, before I was 16, I believed God was absent from my life. I saw Him as the great abandonner, the one who did not answer prayers, did not stop the abuse. Now, I see that He was there, just not the way I expected Him to be there. He was in the “nots.” What did not happen. I did not get pregnant by my father, did not go insane, did not get killed, etc. So God was there, but it took years of healing to be at a point where I could receive and share that truth.

    Thanks for your post.
    Heather

  2. Denis Ledoux June 11, 2014 at 4:57 PM #

    Dear wondering04,

    Thanks for your comment.
    I agree with you that our perception of our lives changes over time. Perhaps that is as good a reason as any to write several memoirs—serial memoirs of our lives.

Leave a Reply